what i've learned along the way
. . . protector? provider? pain-inflictor?
Published on September 25, 2006 By lobsterhunter In Misc
The questions continue to swirl.

I haven't made up my mind about who God says He is, but when you look at life through the lenses of your own circumstances, his character seems questionable.

Now, I'd almost bet that most of you Bible-thumping Christians out there just read my last sentence and have already created a calculated response preparing to enlighten me about how God's character is not defined by individual situations. And you would be correct. I know all the right Sunday school answers, and I am fully aware that I am spiritually handicapped by my experiences. I am intellectually cognoscente of this distorted view, yet I can't seem to shake it.

I want to know what God's job is. I cannot reconcile the issues of childhood abuse. There are so many children in the world who suffer the consequences of other people's choices, and it down right sucks! If God is supposed to be all-powerful and soveriegn, why doesn't He intervene to prevent the lasting scars of youth? Sure, it builds character. Sure it shapes our future. Sure it makes us dependent on Him. But in the end, it leaves us limping through life, sprinkling our hurt on those we love.

These words are not reflective of my own path. They are actually deep concerns I feel for a precious little girl God has placed in my life. The world has not been gentle with her, and as a young child she is already showing signs of distrust and aggression. Her battered self-worth causes her to react negatively in an attempt to gain attention. Numerous people in her life desperately love her, and her parent is doing everything in her power to seek solutions. But, the scars already run deep, and I fear for her future.

So the questions still remain. Will God use her experiences for His glory? Will she overcome her circumstances and be a successful adult? Will a miraculous intervention occur during her teenage years that re-direct the course of her life? Will God continue allowing conflict and funk to deepen her pain?

In my high school graduation speech I read the quote, "I do not know what the future holds, but I know Who holds my future". I suppose I still believe God is in control of outcomes, but sometimes I'm not so sure He is omnipotent.

So how would you define God's job title? And does my lack of trust just mean my faith is small?

Comments (Page 1)
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on Sep 26, 2006
If God is supposed to be all-powerful and soveriegn, why doesn't He intervene to prevent the lasting scars of youth? Sure, it builds character. Sure it shapes our future. Sure it makes us dependent on Him. But in the end, it leaves us limping through life, sprinkling our hurt on those we love.


As to why God doesn't intervene, lobster, the simplest, most honest answer I can give is "I don't know". I won't give you pat answers, because i know as well as you do that pat answers don't answer the hard questions we have deep within our soul. So I won't even try.

I wouldn't define God's job title, honestly, because there's so much I don't comprehend. Like why the prayers of those who "use" their faith for their own financial gain seem to have effect, while the prayers of those who pray for simple sustenance seemingly go unanswered. I don't think your faith is small in any way, lobster, because you believe DESPITE the nagging questions. People with small faith are those who allow themselves to definitively discard God entirely because of those questions, in my opinion.
on Sep 26, 2006
As to why God doesn't intervene, lobster, the simplest, most honest answer I can give is "I don't know". I won't give you pat answers, because i know as well as you do that pat answers don't answer the hard questions we have deep within our soul. So I won't even try.I wouldn't define God's job title, honestly, because there's so much I don't comprehend. Like why the prayers of those who "use" their faith for their own financial gain seem to have effect, while the prayers of those who pray for simple sustenance seemingly go unanswered. I don't think your faith is small in any way, lobster, because you believe DESPITE the nagging questions. People with small faith are those who allow themselves to definitively discard God entirely because of those questions, in my opinion.


Great response Gid! I too don't know. As one who believes and trust in HIm I have no answers too, I even sometimes ask the questions. Sometimes I wonder too why can't the people in our world who are suffering not suffer anymore. Why, why, why to so many questions. I can't give you any pat answers either, I wont. All I can say to keep on doing what you're doing for her. You are there and you will make a difference in her life. Perhaps you and your family ar ein the right place after all.
on Sep 26, 2006
How strong does one's faith have or need to be? Does anyone know? I doubt it.
on Sep 26, 2006

Great article.

I can't answer as to why God allows say child abuse or murder to go on.  I don't believe He causes it, but I do believe He is all powerful and could stop it IF He wanted too.

So, then, WHY doesn't He?

There are diff answers from diff people.  The only thing I know to be true is this.  I was a child of physical and sexual abuse.  I was homeless for a period of time as a kid and lived on the streets with my siblings.  I could make a list of all the horrible things I saw as a child, or were done to me, but I won't.

God may not have stopped those things from happening to me.  But you know what He DID do?  He took the emotional baggage of it all from my heart, the anger, the rage, the fear, the hurt...But He didn't take it until I asked Him too...and then only when I TRULY was willing to give it up.

That may sound stupid, but for awhile I asked Him to take the pain of it but still clung to it like a thirsty man to a glass of cold water.  In my heart I thought my emotions and the fire they gave me, defined my personality.  But I was wrong, so wrong.

Do you think its an accident the young girl you care about is in your life?  I don't.  God may not have stopped the evil (though one day He will stop it completely) but He is there to pick up the pieces and help heal the wounds.

It may not be a pat answer, but its the truth as I know it.  And sometimes I still grapple with the fact He allows it at all.  But in the end, He is God.  God is good.  And I will trust His judgment.

on Sep 26, 2006
I heard once that there are three things people believe about god, but logically only two of them can exist (creating three viewpoints):

1. God is all powerful
2. God is all good
3. Evil things just happen

1 & 2: If god is all powerful and all good, then evil things happen for a reason.
1 & 3: If god is all powerful, but evil things just happen, then god is not all good.
2 & 3: If god is all good, but evil things just happen, then god is not all powerful.

Sometimes people have trouble wrapping their heads around what they believe in if they think all three things must be true.
on Sep 26, 2006
Maybe it has something to do with that freedom of choice people are supposed to have. People can be evil if they want to be...and they often wreak havoc on others because they can. They may be tainted or just warped...but if we're given free will then God cannot intervene...that would go against that decree. As to why other random acts happen, I cannot be sure....maybe it's to add a little drama to life. I prefer just try and deal with what comes my way...there's no point in wondering why things happen or why God lets them happen because he's never going to tell us and we're never going to find out, that is...in this realm of existence, anyway. The most effective way to look at it is...things happen, and they're going to keep happening so might as well deal with it. Of course, I'm not all that religious either...I think of God as more of an observer and pokes a finger in here and there to cause something good to happen...other than that he lets us run around in our little ant farm to do what we will.

And that's enough speculation for today.

~Zoo
on Sep 26, 2006
Interesting post Tenille...As you know I sure don't have any answers for you as to what God's job is. God is God, that's about all I know. I didn't say He was good, or that He is faithful or anything else, just that He is God. You can take that to mean what you want. I agree with you 100% that God's character does seem questionable when viewed through our circumstances. Yet, how do we view God not dependent on our circumstances? Still trying to figure that one out. Maybe that could be my next blog. You know our conversation that we have had on God's grace? I think that maybe God is using you in that child's life to show that child His love and grace to help her through a horrible life situation. That's something I am learning and beginning to believe, even though it sounds elementary. One thing at a time remember.

-Smitty
on Sep 27, 2006
How strong does one's faith have or need to be? Does anyone know? I doubt it.


As strong as it needs to be to secure ones salvation.
on Sep 27, 2006
A friend of mine had once told me (though Im not a great believer of god), he said if you believe that god exists, with complete faith then all your prayers will be answered, but if you are doubtful, or a non believer then it just wont work for you.


(Citizen)Xythe



How strong does one's faith have or need to be? Does anyone know? I doubt it.


One's faith (not just god), any faith has to be strong enough to make the person believe in himself.
on Sep 27, 2006
What is God's Job Anyway?


He spends all day setting impossibly high standards that you have no chance of meeting in order that you live your whole life feeling guilty about something everyone's telling you you're not spiritually mature enough to properly understand anyway.


on Sep 27, 2006
I don't know, either, but I do know that He gave us free will to give us the right to our own choices in how we run our own lives and affairs. Whether use or abuse that right is up to us. Everyone abuses it in some respect, unfortunately; some more and worse than others.

My father was an alcoholic who often beat my mother; to be fair, when he was sober, he was a great person, but when he was drunk, he was a total asshole. Problem was, he was drunk most of the time.
God blessed me with a strong religious presence in my grandmother, a strong will and a decent sense of right and wrong. This has enabled me not to be an abusive spouse, and also to extricate myself from my own issues of alcohol abuse, which, thank God, I no longer have.

It's all about the free will. We make our own choices. That's wny evil exists. The little girl may take a lesson from her childhood and grow up to be a crusader against child abuse. Pray for her and don't stop.
The problem with prayer, though, is that in our little petty, limited vision of life and the world, He often answers our prayers in ways we weren't expecting or even wanting. God sees the big picture that we can't.

As for my father, he, too, eventually got himself right with the Man Above and died a much better man than he was for much of his life. Praise be to God.
on Sep 27, 2006
Well, I'll admit of not being a religious person in the sense of not going to church and not relating to religious things too often. I do, however, believe in God. I just see him a bit more different than most here do. I think God is all powerful and I believe in him due to some experiences I have had in life that would make most people think I just plain crazy. I have been witness to miracles, enough to make me a believer for life and death.

I see life not as some kind of board game where God moves pieces around and choses whether you should get a free out of jail card or land on the highest priced location where you would go bankrupt, but more like a test. They say there is life after death, they you either go to Heaven or Hell depending on what you did during you life on Earth. We are put to the test to see if we are worthy to enter the gates of Heaven or burn in the fires of Hell. Every choice one makes in life helps decide your fate after death. I believe, like Zoologist03 put it so nicely, that he does poke his finger around once in a while to either test our strenghts, will and faith and to make what we see as miracles tor remind or let us know that he's watching. Why do bad things happen? Why do they seem to happen so often to good people? Maybe it's all part of his plan to test us, maybe it's the effects of a cause made by people who do bad things, maybe these people were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I have had a very difficult childhood. While I never had child abuse problems (at least not the kind most people think of when they hear these words), I was ignored quite a bit. Most everything I know that makes me who I am today I tought myself, my mom was usually too busy working to give us what she could provide. I love her a lot and thank her for everything she did and still does. She made sure I stayed a good kid, but somehow she did not need to work hard on that for this behaviour was built into me. I have always been a nice, kind, gentle person, but as the years go by one sometimes has to have a bit of a dark side in order to survive in this world. I learned that the hard way. I see it as all part of life, but I am honest when I say that I do not do the good things I do (keep in mind I am not perfect and will sometimes do things that are not so good) to secure my place in Heaven. I will take what is coming to me when the time comes without any questions. I will always believe I have always done the right thing, but that is not up to me to decide once my time comes. But at least I can die happy knowing that "at least I tried" (got this from Clinton).

I didn't quite understand completely the story of the little girl (not that you gave big details, it's understandable) but if by what you say here is any indication, maybe your question:

Will a miraculous intervention occur during her teenage years that re-direct the course of her life?


has already been answered the moment she came into your life. You do what you think is best for her, hopefully things will turn for the better. But keep in mind, when you ask:

Will she overcome her circumstances and be a successful adult?


that will be up to her to decide when she grows up, reguardless of those around her whether they help, encourage or believe in her or not. Tova is the perfect eample of what I mean.

Will God continue allowing conflict and funk to deepen her pain?


Evil will have to be eliminated completely for this to ever happen to her or anyone else. Pain and suffering is part of human nature. Women feel pain and suffer while giving birth to a child, people suffer when their hearts are broken, there will always be conflict because everyone thinks differently as life was intended to. It's up to us to either except the bad with the good, do our best to change as much bad as possible or just give up and blow our brains out. It's up to us in the end.

I am not giving, what many here call a pat answer, only what I believe in my heart that God and life are all about.

on Sep 27, 2006
God's Job? The best I could come up with would be King of the Earth. He also says he's the Savior of the world and there is no other, so I'd include that as well. Since he created us all and the earth and everything in it, I'd have to add Creator to that list as well. Hmmmm he also says he's our Father so I guess he'd have that job as well and a father is supposed to care and protect and provide for his family. So provider, protector would be good as you already mentioned.

I'm sure this is just the short list because he's just so much more than that even. I think God wears many different job hats.

As for my father, he, too, eventually got himself right with the Man Above and died a much better man than he was for much of his life. Praise be to God.


Yes, this is awesome RW. I love to hear stories like this. It's not so important how we start the race of life but the finish is so important.

"If God is supposed to be all-powerful and soveriegn, why doesn't He intervene"

you actually already answered this question with your statement here..

They are actually deep concerns I feel for a precious little girl God has placed in my life.

the real question is...."What are you going to do about it?"

God speed!!
on Sep 28, 2006
I'm glad I'm not the only one on the planet trying to figure this thing out. Thanks to all of you who responded. Your experience, strength, and hope provide much needed insight!
on Sep 28, 2006
He spends all day setting impossibly high standards that you have no chance of meeting in order that you live your whole life feeling guilty about something everyone's telling you you're not spiritually mature enough to properly understand anyway.


LOL Perfect.
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