what i've learned along the way
. . . looking for His presence in a dark world
Published on December 13, 2006 By lobsterhunter In Misc
A spiritual battle rages in my soul. For almost two years now, my faith has slowly eroded, and I am currently struggling with some serious darkness. Hopelessness threatens my heart, and if I'm honest, I have no desire to cry out to God for help. Intense resentments have built up over time, and His inability to protect innocent children causes trust to fade. I desperately want to believe in God's goodness, but right now I can only see what's missing. My focus is clouded by my unanswered questions, and more doubts continue to rise as life unfolds.

In an effort to make sense of everything currently happening in the world, I was reminded of something a college minister shared with me concerning Biblical history. He said that from the time of Isaiah's prophesies to the time of Christ's birth, God was silent. He purposefully distanced Himself from His creation, and for five hundred years no spiritual activity occurred. Sometimes I wonder if God has once again removed His presence from the earth. I have faith that Christ will return, and the world will be set right, but in the meantime, this seems like a logical explanation.

I shared these thoughts with a friend the other night, and she brought up a very valid argument which stands in direct opposition to the above theory. She posed the following question. “If God is silent, how do you explain human kindness?” You see, this friend is the most gracious, compassionate woman I know. She pours hope and light into the lives of all who know her, and her servant heart ceases to amaze me. So much good radiates from her life, and when I consider these obvious truths, I know God must still be present in this screwed up, broken world.

One of the most powerful messages I have ever heard comes from the words of an AA Big Book. It says, “When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I cannot find serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.”

There are always going to be things in this life that disturb me. I won’t always get my way, and every prayer may not be answered to my liking. I want to believe that nothing happens in God’s world by mistake, but this would mean surrendering to the fact that harmful things happen to children who have no control over their circumstances. This would mean admitting that my own dysfunctional upbringing was in fact God’s plan. I am not okay with that, and until I reconcile these issues, my deepest prayer is that God will patiently remind me of His sovereignty. Perhaps He has been present through all of this darkness, and I’ve been blinded by my own inability to believe.

James 1:5-8 says, “If any of you need wisdom, ask God for it. He will give it to you. God gives freely to everyone. He doesn't find fault. But when you ask, you must believe. You must not doubt. People who doubt are like waves of the sea. The wind blows and tosses them around. A man like that shouldn't expect to receive anything from the Lord. He can't make up his mind. He is unstable in all he does.”

I don’t want to be unstable. God, help me with my unbelief!

on Dec 13, 2006

I love love love that AA quote, Nill.

I visited this blog in hopes of finding WHAT IN THE WORLD I DID TO MAKE YOU ANGRY.




Trin (I have gifts for you)

on Dec 13, 2006
I like to also think that nothing happens in His world by mistake. However, there are so many things that do happen in man's world that are wrong. Like as you said, children getting hurt, people being misled. So many unanswered questions.

It's not easy for someone who believes to think that what goes on is ok with Him. Because I'm sure it's not. I can't give you any 'wise' explanations for some of the bad things that do happen. But I do know from experience that sometimes we have to find our own way and make our own journey. And yes, as you said, we have to be ready to receive, to open our eyes, to hear, to actually listen to that voice that is trying to guide us.

I hate it that so many children are hurt in this world of ours. I really hurt for them and wish I had the power to take all the pain away. But know that he knows all this, and he hasn't left them alone. It would be too easy for me to say, they had to go through what they did, I can't. Because children are the innocent ones. But know that the day will come when all of them will be gathered in his presence and all the pain will be washed away. Because he will be there to greet them.

I hope that you will find the answers you're looking for and hope that your faith will be restored. Don't give up on life and most of all, don't ever give up on yourself. I remind myself constantly to 'let go and let God' and when I do, the possibilities are endless.
on Dec 13, 2006
I have always liked Einstein's quote "God does not play dice with the universe."

on Dec 13, 2006
I just don't bother worrying about it. If things go bad, I deal....if things are good, I'm happy. I give kudos to God at times and ask for help at others...whether he helps or not, I'm not exactly sure, I keep going on. I'm never one to worry about losing my faith....I don't have a whole lot, but what little I do have I keep hold of....I suppose something of importance does come from every moment of misery, whether you wish to see it or not...every tragedy holds a bit of wisdom.

Of course...I've never really been "religious" so I don't worry myself about whether God hates me or not. I acknowledge him and I get angry with him just like with anyone else....I also respect him because according to my core belief system he can turn your world upside down. In other words, God can be a dick sometimes...and I'm not sure why, especially when he gives breaks to genuine jackasses.

on Dec 14, 2006
""God does not play dice with the universe.""

Einstein was proved wrong on this. Read Hawking.

"Not only does God definitely play dice, he sometimes throws them where they cant be seen."
on Dec 19, 2006
God’s gift to man is FREE WILL. The miss use of free will is the root cause of everything that is wrong with the world. What happens in our world is the end result of the action taken of free will by man. There are no mistakes. There is nothing wrong with God’s plan. It is just that not enough people are following it. A simple program for very complicated people who can’t seem to agree on what God is the one True God. Why don’t they just choice a God for their own understanding.
on Dec 21, 2006
It would seem at times that God is silent. Even during Scripture there seems to be times when God is silent. I could make a long list, but I won't. I don't understand that either. However, something I have come upon this Christmas is that God does keep His promises even while He is silent. In the Old Testament God promised that "a virgin would give birth to a child." But then all is silent for about 400 years. Yet, God still fulfills His promise through the birth of Christ.

As far as God playing dice....does God take chances? I'm not so sure He does. Dice to me seems like taking chances and I don't think God does that.

For more on the whole God keeping His promises check out my blog. Have a Merry Christmas my friend!