what i've learned along the way
and God said, "Let there be light"
Published on January 8, 2005 By lobsterhunter In Just Hanging Out


Recently a treasured friend discovered my blogsite. He stumbled upon it, after visiting my sister’s post. I referred him to her articles because I believe she is a gifted writer, and I wanted to share her musings with others. It never dawned on me that my site would be fair game. When he mentioned visiting some of my old articles, I instantly grew uncomfortable. Hiding has served me well, and now people knew.

My first thought was, “Oh crap! Did I write anything questionable?” The fellow reading my ramblings also happens to be my Bible study leader, and I was concerned my previous articles were a little too honest where matters of faith occur. Thankfully, he was complimentary, and he seemed to appreciate my openness. Even with his kind words of encouragement, my insecurities crept in. Knowing that others were reading my innermost thoughts caused me uneasiness.

Writing is an intensely personal experience. I teach 4th graders, and in Texas nine year olds take a standardized test measuring their ability to express themselves through written language. It’s a high stakes test, and the pressure these kiddos face is enormous. Because of TAKS, so many of my children hate to write. Getting them to put two sentences down on paper is like pulling teeth. My feet are held to the fire when it comes to passing or failing the test and it is very easy to let writing become a measurable science, rather than an art.

After having my own writing exposed, I realized how difficult it must be for my students to share their lives on paper. A fresh taste of empathy did wonders for my attitude towards teaching such a subjective concept. If I struggle to believe in my abilities as a writer, then they must also fear the rejection or approval of those around them.

I am not extraordinary. If you look up average in the dictionary, you will find my name. Over the years, I have come to accept the fact that being middle of the road is not such a bad thing. I am a high achiever, but as far as talent is concerned, I was not blessed with any astonishing gifts. I like being me on most days, but every now and again my self-esteem takes a hit, and I question whether I have anything of value to offer the world. Mercifully, God reminds me I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Embracing this truth will be the challenge of my life.

My writing is not fancy. Although I teach the basics, I do not always use correct grammar, and I don’t have many witty, impressive things to say. Most of what share doesn’t seem to be that important, but I write. I write because it helps me cope with the mess going on in my head. I write because when I release my thoughts onto to the paper they no longer control me. I write because I enjoy the feedback others provide, even if it’s critical. I write because it allows me to see the world through different lenses.

Blogging poses a unique opportunity to remain anonymous, if you so choose. I did not want others to know I was writing in fear of their negative response or disapproval. I crave affirmation, and only recently have I been willing to embrace differences as a natural part of being human. Maybe this means I’m growing up. I’m glad my secret is out. I’m glad others know I blog. I hope that in some small way, what I write helps others evaluate their own lives. No more hiding. The light has pierced the shadows.

Comments (Page 1)
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on Jan 08, 2005
Lobsterhunter..................i must remain in the shadows. though, your article was very interesting. none of my friends know i blog. it must remain that way because i write very candid. many of them dont know the real me.
on Jan 08, 2005
its kind of impossible for me to hide here, my bvest friend is here and actually told me about the site. so i pretty much dont even try the hiding thing
on Jan 08, 2005
Your article I found to be very insightful, not lacking in anything!
I've learned that with some of my family I can't be totally honest, so this place is perfect for expressing feelings, thoughts, and just rambling.
It is sad that I can't be honest and open with one of my family members, but that discovery, through writing here, helped me to understand that the relationship wasn't a good one.....
Nice to meet you
on Jan 09, 2005
Marvin Cooley

The shadows are comfortable. Stay there as long as you need to. You will know when it safe to let people see the "real" you. I had to learn to accept me, before I could risk it with others.


NJForever

My sister introduced me to Joeuser, which meant she had access to my writing. She new I was fragile, and she was always very encouraging. Having friends on here keeps things interesting.

Trudygolightly

Thanks for your compliment. Not everyone in my life is safe to share with. I suppose there are a few of my own family members I might not want reading my blogs. However, keeping secrets makes me feel fake, and I don't like living that way anymore. We all have our walls, and writing does give us clarity. Although, too much honesty can be a bad thing. I guess the goal is to avoid all extremes.



on Jan 10, 2005
OK, lobsterhunter, I'm truly sorry if I let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. I only mentioned your site because that is the kind of honesty and openness I crave for all of us, though I doubt if that can happen. Being willing to open ourselves up and expose our doubts and fears and questions is the only way to grow. Once you've put your thoughts down in print, or spoken them to others (or God for that matter), can we be truly free. I have to disagree with you, I personally think you are an extraordinary person and it is my honor to know you as a close and dear friend. And your writing helps me see the world through different lenses. Let the light shine and destroy the shadows in which we hide.
on Jan 10, 2005
I'll take the link to your site of my blog if you wish...but I love reading what you write. You're not average. You're wonderful, and I'm so glad your my friend...you don't need to hide!
on Jan 10, 2005
*hugs*

I love ya, girl. You are an amazing human being, and a very talented writer. Hide if you want to or don't . . . it's your blog.
on Jan 10, 2005
hey i just i would let you know that writing is everything that you described but as for me it is the opposite it is indescribable pain because of the pain i have been through. but for you, you get let all of your pain that is bottled up out of your mind. you are a very amazing and talented writer keep it up girl.
on Jan 10, 2005
bgrins

I am actually grateful you mentioned my blogsite. I may not be able to express myself perfectly, but it's so uplifting to know others care about what I have to say. Besides, progress is the goal -- NOT perfection. Thank you for your kind words, and thoughtfulness. You are an amazing man of faith, and a phenomenal spritual parent! I agree with you about being honest. It's risky, but I'm slowly beginning to believe the benefits outweigh the fear. Prayerfully, God will begin to allow others in our group to take a chance, and be vulnerable. That is my hope.
on Jan 10, 2005
Angie

No need to remove me. I enjoy the correspondence, and I truly appreciate your kind words of encouragement. I'm so grateful God has placed you in my path, and I look forward to all He has in store for us.
on Jan 10, 2005
Brandie

Thanks for reading my silly thoughts. Your compliment means the world to me, considering I hold your writing in high regard. I hope things are looking brighter in your life. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
on Jan 10, 2005
roadkill

I suppose you went with anonymous because you prefer I don't know your identity, but for what it is worth, holding onto the pain only creates more chaos. Working through it is excruciating, yet liberating. Writing helps me release the junk I've held onto for so long. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
on Jan 11, 2005
My blog? It's all me. I may not chose to reveal parts of my life but what I do talk about, it's all me and no lies.

I used to lie pretty lot of times. I am not going back to that life, although sometimes old habits comes back for short times.
on Jan 11, 2005
I'm impressed; I couldn't resist giving you an insightful. You're a fine writer and shouldn't hide--continue boldly, despite your modesty.
on Jan 11, 2005
XX

Lying seems to be a natural reaction to life sometimes. It took me a while to come to terms with how often I tell falsehoods to save face. Self-preservation can be a powerful thing, but in the end it only makes us feel empty and fake. I'm with you. I don't want to go back to that life either. It requires constant awareness and conviction.

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