I'm so sorry to hear that, Tenille.

Hypothetical question: If she were to decide that she no longer wanted to care for the girls, or if she was no longer able (which is a concern considering the situations she puts herself in), would you be willing to raise them?

I am holding out hope that maybe when she gets out of the destructive relationship she's in, she'll understand what she's doing to her girls and make things right.

So sad. I'm sorry

Here's hoping TX is right and that she'll come to realize that having you in their lives is not just an asset, but a necessity.

Brandie,

Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate your empathy and well-wishes. I too hope this will blow over soon. As far as the hypothetical situation goes, I am no longer sure what would happen to the girls. To my knowledge, she does not have a living will, and up until this point in time, she has expressed that she would want me to raise them. Of course now she no longer trust my judgement, so perhaps it will be her new co-dependent friend. I would absolutely be willing to raise the girls.

HC

Thank you for your kind words. I guess I will let it unfold and see what happens.

Wow T, why haven't you shared all this before? I know you've mentioned the problems, but not to this extent. Maybe I've been too busy with my own inward thoughts to notice or hear what you are saying. If so, I want to apologize. Those two girls are the sweetest girls, and it breaks my heart to see what's happening to them. As far as you are concerned, you've got new family and perhaps 2, if not more, potential "best friends." If you allow it.

I'll be praying for you, your former "best friend," and the girls.

B~

"New Family" is not, and could never be, enough to replace such precious girls, no matter how wonderful you are! 

Nill, your situation has been all that's on my mind lately, and finding a solution has proved to be a dead-end task. 

All I can say is that Talawna needs to taken out into the woods, tied to a fence post, and nibbled on by nameless creatures.  Maybe then she would have enough alone time to realize that YOU'RE AWESOME!!!

Trinitie

p.s.  Willy Wonka rocked my houseboat, and you deserved to see it with the girls more than she did.  So there.

I didn't say anything about "new family" taking the place of the kids or of real family. T just knows that her "new family" is there for support, or to pray, cry, or talk with her.

I want to apologize

Bruce,

No apologies neccesary. I've really been trying hard not to dwell on it, but I would appreciate your prayers. Thank you for the encouragement, and for reminding me I am loved!

Talawna needs to taken out into the woods, tied to a fence post, and nibbled on by nameless creatures

Trin,

You're the best! Thanks for taking my side. That is what sisters are for!

Think of it this way, at least you can still see them, and hope to see them more often.

I no longer see my former best friends son, haven't seen him in will over a year and I used to babysit for him every day. I haven't seen her since I found out that she slept with my kids father while him and I were still together and I was pregnant with my youngest. I feel bad about it, but to see him, I would have to talk to her, and I can't do that. I'll do a better write up about that situation later on my own blog.

My advice would be, get your foster parent certification done. If you see her abusing the girls, report it, and with you certification in place, you'll probably get them as foster kids since they know you. I know it sounds cold, but don't make up alligations, and only report if there is a noticable problem which you should do anyway. Or pray that the situation gets better. Don't know why Willy Wanka would be that big of a deal, unless she wanted to take them or was planning it.

My best to you *HUGS*

Or pray that the situation gets better

Msladydeath,

Thanks for sharing your experience with me. I appreciate the suggestions, and I will definitely be praying for both my friend and her neices. I'm sorry about your situation with your husband. That must have been devastating.

"""""That is what sisters are for!"""""

Girl, you know if I thought you wuz wrong, I'd let ya know that, too!

Trinitie

I'm sorry about your situation with your husband. That must have been devastating.

Fortunatally, we didn't get married, he wanted to when he got out of jail, I didn't, then when I was ready to get married, he didn't want to. It's long and complicated, but I'm thankfull it's over, that I know that he cheated, and that I don't have to grant him visitation (he is in Prison currently, has been since 2 weeks after he left us, and will be there for a long time) I don't even mind not getting more than $10 a month for child support, he didn't care about the kids when he was around, and didn't even bother writeing the girls a letter on their birthday last week, and he can't forget their birthday, it's the same day as his. UG. Oh well. I always try to remember that someone, somewhere, has it worse than me, and that helps me be thankfull for what I have, and don't have to share. (makes me sound greedy don't it).

lobster,

Not much to say but WOW! Hope things work out for the best for you (and, it should go without saying, for the kids)!

You know Tenille, Trinitie once told me that she was wise. Or should I say is wise. Well, I guess you get what I am saying. TRINITIE IS A WISE OLD FART!! But again you're even wiser. I promise.

I must say that I am hurt and devastated that Tenille has painted the picture to be so grim and I must say "painted." Because as you all know there are two sides to every story. I love Tenille dearly and she has been monumental in my life. We have learned from one another things that God could only teach through one another. I am blessed for that. Because I love her I will not slander nor defame her in the way in which she has done me.

I can assure you that we are all a bit unhealthy. Part of life is trying to wade through life and figure things out the best way we can. That is what I am trying to do. Honestly I feel like things are going well for me now. I have not given up on God. I have only found myself in a place where I have some difficult questions to which he is refusing to answer, or at least in a way that I can understand. He may never answer in a way acceptable to me and I am fully aware of that. I miss him and the relationship that we had. I am not willing to forfeit that no matter what answers I do or do not receive. I am just searching to find my way. So, "no" I do not wish to raise my girls without a faith. But I do want to teach them that life isn't fair and we don't have to pretend that everything is okay, and not to fear the questions that we have.

As far as the girls. If you only knew my life...I get up every morning and most days they I know that they are my motivation for getting up and going to work. The responsbility of another life (in my case 2) is more overwhelming than you would know unless you have children. My love for them is unconditional as much as the human heart is able. I would never put them in harms way. Emotional neglect. I guess some may see single parenting as emotional neglect because one parent is missing. If you have children then you know that they can be manipulative. They think I am neglecting them if I don't let them have a Dr. Pepper before bed. Understandably they are "missing" me more now. I have recently become a full-time working person after being a full-time college student. So to them, it seems like I am not home at all. But I assure you that the three hours I get with them in the every evening is all theres, after they do their chores of course. Most of all they know that they are loved by myself and many others. Ask Tenille, I don't think she would disagree.


Trinitie...I think that CPS should spend their time with families in situations like yours. I am so sorry that the "system" seems to have failed your two younger sisters and possibly even you. When I pray...hopefully again soon, I will pray that God will turn the bad into good like he has done in my life. I am thankful for your presence in their lives. Research in resiliency in children shows that if a child has ONE positive influence in their lives, it can make a lifetime of difference. Hang onto that.

All of you who are praying for Tenille and her broken heart, if you are non-discriminatory in your prayers, you can pray for me too.

PS..And the Willy Wonka thing was based on principle. I am not that anal. I had heard bad things about it and expressed that I wanted to "screen" the movie before allowing them to see it. It was the end of a long list of what I consider momentary lapses in Tenille's judgement.

Thanks all..

The co-dependent friend (ex), No, I refuse to own that.

Telawna