what i've learned along the way
lobsterhunter's Articles In Misc » Page 2
November 11, 2007 by lobsterhunter
As I sit here on my couch this morning, I feel extremely reflective. Snuggled under a cozy blanket with Chris' laptop resting on my legs, I'm browsing through some of my old blogs. I’m thankful for written expression. Recording my thoughts and feelings is like pressing a pause button on life. As I read through the events of the last few years, I am amazed how quickly time has passed. The memories seem so fresh . . .

Yesterday, a precious friend and I discussed the beauty of the present, along...
September 14, 2007 by lobsterhunter
Do you ever have split second moments when everything seems to be spinning completely out of control? I got to school this morning feeling a bit edgy due to the fact that my student’s grades were due, the new teacher I’m mentoring needed to meet with me, and a parent came to complain that her child was being bullied. Fridays are usually hectic, but today seemed abnormally nutty. Right before it was time to switch classes, my phone buzzed, and my husband informed me that the Rooms-To-Go guy could...
September 2, 2007 by lobsterhunter
My family and I just finished playing Sequence. After sharing a prayer and a meal together, we pulled up a piece of carpet, and giggled our way through a board game. Chandler, my ten year old step-daughter, seemed to have all the luck, and smiles beamed from the winners' faces after every round. A deep sense of contentment permeated the room.

Now to some people, the above scenario may not seem that unusual, but to a child who grew up in the chaotic world of alcoholism this is a dream come tr...
July 24, 2007 by lobsterhunter
A deep well of sorrow lives buried within my soul. Woven into the tapestry of my being is the belief that I am a burden. The message taunts me constantly, and in moments of weakness, I give in and accept the lie. I crank up the volume on the tapes that tell me my existence causes other people’s pain.

Recently, a master manipulator convinced me that I was the author of her suffering. She explained that my presence caused her intense discomfort, and proceeded to rationalize her unacceptable be...
June 28, 2007 by lobsterhunter
My husband and I had a fantastic date night yesterday. We've been staying in Houston for an educational business conference, and when Chris arrived home we took a quick dip in the hotel swimming pool. The hot afternoon sun was a welcomed guest after days and days of cloudy skies. It's been raining like crazy all across Texas, and we were hoping to escape Mother Nature by heading further south.

After our outdoor excursion, we took a quick shower and got gussied up for a fancy dinner at the Aq...
June 11, 2007 by lobsterhunter
My Aunt Nila stopped by my house yesterday afternoon. She and her husband, Donald, were in the Metroplex visiting their children, and she called to see if the rumors she'd been hearing about my elopement were true. I told her all about my destination wedding to California and caught her up to speed on all the recent happenings in my life.

Out of thirteen children, she and her sister Rita are the only siblings who makes a concerted effort to maintain a relationship with me. Over the...
June 4, 2007 by lobsterhunter
I've been hitched for a little over a week now, and everyone I run into has the same question . . .

"So, how does it feel to be married, Tenille?"

I find this inquiry to be a bit annoying.

No one ever felt the need to ask me, "So, Tenille. Tell me. How does it feel to be single?"

I mean, don't get me wrong. I love being married. Chris is fantastic, and we're definitely enjoying what others call the "honeymoon period". It's wonderful to wake up each day next to the man I've chosen...
May 20, 2007 by lobsterhunter
Have you ever read a book where the chapters are completely unrelated? You know the kind where you can randomly skip through the pages, paying little attention to what came before or after a particular event. The story unfolds just as it should, and each section of the novel holds unique treasures of its own. The chapters stand out independent of one another, yet somehow the story is woven together, forming a perfect tale that captures the reader’s interest.

Other books are designed to be se...
April 20, 2007 by lobsterhunter
The only man I have ever given my heart to asked me to marry him last night in a bookstore . After four months of dating, I accepted his proposal, and I have never been more sure of anything in all my life. Chris is God's gift of extravagant love to me, and our journeys have led us to one another. He is everything I ever wanted and so much more. I am deeply grateful for the joy he has brought to my life, and I look forward to spending the rest of our days together.

He is the man I choose . ....
April 1, 2007 by lobsterhunter
Have you ever bought a new watch? When you first slip it on your wrist, you are keenly aware of its presence. The band rubs against your skin, and you find yourself glancing down, inspecting the clock more frequently than usual. Your thoughts habitually turn toward this new accessory and you might even show it off to your friends.

After a couple of days, the novelty starts to wear off, and although you are still aware of the new watch, it doesn’t consume your thoughts. Weeks pass, and before...
February 12, 2007 by lobsterhunter
I never knew belief in possibility could make life seem so much brighter.

An unexpected smile sweeps across my face, and I find myself lost in thought more than I would care to admit.

The fog is lifting, and for the first time in a long time, I'm trusting that nothing in God's world happens by mistake.

I wonder how long these happy feelings will last? I will not allow fear to rob me of the momentary joy . . .
January 7, 2007 by lobsterhunter
This morning I prayed and asked God to chip away at this stubborn heart of mine. I begged Him to be persistent as He continues to teach me about trust. You see, I don’t do dependence well. All of my life has been one big struggle for control. Self-sufficiency reigns, and I seldom willingly relinquish my illusion of power. My Creator’s patience astounds me, and I often wonder why He puts up with this headstrong child. Today He grinned at me from above, as I was forced to surrender to my helplessn...
December 30, 2006 by lobsterhunter
There's a whole lot of crap going on in this head of mine, and although writing is generally a productive way for me to sort through my often distorted thinking, I can't seem to pin down the right words. The holidays have zipped by, and I'm pretty sure it will take at least a few weeks to process all the chaos that is my life. I kissed a stranger on a boat, got in a fight with my birth mother, and drove over three thousand miles. The washing machine is humming in the back ground as I type, and s...
December 13, 2006 by lobsterhunter
A spiritual battle rages in my soul. For almost two years now, my faith has slowly eroded, and I am currently struggling with some serious darkness. Hopelessness threatens my heart, and if I'm honest, I have no desire to cry out to God for help. Intense resentments have built up over time, and His inability to protect innocent children causes trust to fade. I desperately want to believe in God's goodness, but right now I can only see what's missing. My focus is clouded by my unanswered questions...
November 25, 2006 by lobsterhunter
I've spent the last three days in my tiny hometown of Lefors. It's funny how it takes about half a day to acclamate to the culture of this little place, and before you know it you've been sucked back in. I'm always amazed at how easy it is to lose yourself here. There is a sense of comfort that makes you forget you have a life back in Fort Worth.

Our six-man football team made it to the regional playoffs after 30 years of being losers, and the community is in an uproar. Everyone has dyed the...