i've got to admit it's getting better . . .
My lip is swollen the size of Texas. I woke up today, feeling the familiar pain of heat rising below the surface of my skin. This is not an unusual occurence. I get fever blisters at least once a month. I've done some research on this medical anomaly, and basically it's a whacked out form of herpes. They call it Simplex B, and it can be activated by the slightest change in your bodies' chemical balance. Apparently, my system stays in a state of confusion 24-7.
The reason I'm puzzled by this particular outbreak, is that my stress level has stayed relatively low lately. This week was Spring Break for me, and I felt pretty relaxed. I did spend an emotionally charged weekend with an old friend, and I'm sure the tears we cried together did not help. She is slowly finding her way home, and she has asked me to help ilumine the path. I don't know if I am the best person for the job, considering out history of codependency. Perhaps this is God's way of testing my new way of thinking, and forcing me to stand on my truth + His truth.
My baby sister came home today, and I was so happy to see her. I didn't make it to her arrival gate on time, and I got all stressed out trying to find my way around the chaotic airport. It doesn't take much to get me all flustered, so when she called me crying saying she was lost somewhere in the terminal, It took all my strength to not go postal. I tried to remain calm, but it was not easy. I felt so bad for not being there when she arrived, and I knew she would be dealing with some heavy emotions from the week gone by. We finally found each other, and it was as sweet reunion. Something in my soul told me we have belonged together since the very beginning.
I realize this blog is a little sproratic, but that's how I'm feeling at the present moment. I have so much work to accomplish before Monday morning, and I feel guilty for wasting my Spring Break. I'm a "human doing", and when I blow off my good intentions, it makes me feel all yucky inside. Perhaps if I can complete a few of the necesary task, I will feel better.