. . . pausing long enough to count my blessings
I spend most of my life focusing on the small pieces of the puzzle and not nearly enough time looking at the end result. Tonight, God gave me a glimpse of the "big picture", and I figured reflection would help me remember that which is so easily forgotten.
My birthday is exactly six days away, and already, I have had two surprise parties and acquired a nice stack of giftcards to my favorite shopping spots. On two separate occasions, my teacher friends and my church friends joined me at my home for an evening of food, fun, and fellowship. The crowds were uniquely different, yet somehow the same. Each group has brightened my life in ways I will never fully understand, and I am grateful for these relationships.
Tonight, as I walked out my front door, I glanced up at the moon. I stood still for just a moment, and God spoke to my heart. He reminded me of how full my life is today. I am blessed.
Sometimes, when I think about the world I used to live in, I feel sorrow. Isolation and codependency robbed me of the joy that comes from risking love. God knew I needed to walk through those years of testing in order to see His hand at work today. That is His way. I will never understand it, and I'm not sure I appreciate it, but tonight I'm satisfied with the journey.
More struggles lie ahead, and I'm sure it will take a lifetime to fully accept His methods. In the end, I will grow up. I will change. Life will keep moving forward, and I will do my best to become the woman God intends for me to be.
One of my favorite scriptures in the Word of God comes from the Love chapter in 1st Corinthians. This verse helps me cope with all the confusion that comes with being stuck in this broken jar of clay. Tonight I squinted through the fog long enough to see a break in the clouds. Thank you God for the sliver of sunshine!
"We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us . . ."