Help me out God, I need a little somethin' . . .
For years I have been telling myself I want more. Spiritually, I've yearned for the kind of faith that moves mountains. I've gone to numerous conferences and read tons of books, looking for the magic formula to make me passionate about God. Over time I've come to understand my problem lies not in a lack of desire, but in my obvious unbelief. So, what do I do? I sign up for a Bible study entitled, "Believing God", certain I'll find the answers I'm looking for.
Instead, I've discovered not only do struggle with believing God, but I'm not so sure I ever really wanted to know Him as much as I had claimed to. For the last few weeks we've been looking at the faith heroes of Hebrews 11. These biblical characters were definitly not your run of the mill folks. The common denominator in all of their stories is their willingness to trade in the familiar for the fantastic. I covet the familiar far too much to risk an adventure. Bottom line, security and comfort are more valuable to me than experiencing the kind of faith described in the inspired word of God.
People who step out in faith and live out their belief system scare me. Beth Moore used to inspire me. Now she frightens me. She is living the abundant spirit filled life, and I say I want that, but today I'm not so sure I'm willing to do what it takes. As she might put it, "I need to stop wantin' and a wishin', and start believin' and receivin' ". Oh how easy it sounds.
The puzzling part of this whole dilema is God's design. I "feel" like I was not hard wired for adventure. My personality is grounded and secure. By nature I am more inclined to sit on the sidelines. Am I missing the risk taking gene? Or am I trusting too much in my own abilities? My box is not longer working for me, so God -- whatever it is your trying to do in my life, help me be willing.