what i've learned along the way
What blocks the light?
Published on September 7, 2004 By lobsterhunter In Personal Relationships
"You must of heard a different message than me". These are the words of my soon to be 19 year old, little sister. After hearing a very traditional Southern Baptist preacher share a message on geniune Christianity, we both walked away with a completely altered view of the pastor's sermon. This is not a new occurence, seeing how we don't see eye to eye on much. However, for some reason, her words struck a cord in my heart, and I realized how each of our perceptions are unique and valuable.

Trinitie and I are oxymorons. As individuals, we are internally conflicted. Together we're just one big paradox. So many of our experiences seem to run parallel, yet in the end, it seems as if we were raised in absolutely opposite worlds. Our upbringing is only part of what separtes us, and in the same way, it draws us together.

Some might say it's a sister connection, but I believe it runs deeper. We share 50% of the same DNA, which could account for some of our dysfuntional behaviors. There is also a common thread of faith, which ties us together as sisters in Christ. We were both high achievers in school (at least for the most part), and I would like to think we share a similar hunger for contentment. Each of these qualities draws us together, and our "sameness" helps balance our blantant differences.

Recognizing the value in differences has been an evolution of sorts for me. I am probably the most judgemental, critical person you will ever meet. I must the fight the Pharisee in me on a daily basis, and often times, the "holier than thou" Tenille wins out. My expectations of others are absolutely unreasonable, and I want everyone to be just like me, so I can feel better about who I am. It's a very sick, warped way of thinking, but thankfully I serve a gracious and forgiving Father, who reveals my shortcomings in small doses because He knows I would cave under the weight of them all. Lately, my awareness of this distorted perception has been heightened. I am slowly beginning to understand that accepting others "as is", does not devalue me. This may seem like an insignificant revelation to most, but in my world it's huge!

I have a crazy friend who used to sing a little jingle she learned as a child in Vacation Bible School. It rings in my head quite often, and although you may not hear the tune, I will share the simple lyrics:

"Different is beautiful.
God bless variety.
Just look around and seeeee . . .
different is beatiful, different is beautiful, different is beautiful
Like you and me!"

I look forward to the day when I can fully embrace the beauty of God's unique designs. In the meantime, I hope Trin and I can learn to love each other exactly where we are. The trees may block the view for now, but I believe it's only for a season. In the shadows of the branches, we will come to terms with our own truth, and only then will we be able to love each other without reserve. For now we wait, loving the only way we know how -- imperfectly."

on Sep 25, 2004

on Sep 25, 2004
Is that the funny sound you make?
on Oct 02, 2004

that's the serious sound I make.


on Oct 15, 2005
hehe, I'm funny.