. . . when it's just too much
"I can't handle this."
"It's just to much to bear."
"This weight is killing me."
"I'm not going to make it"
Growing up in a semi-Christian home, I remember my grandma talking about how God never gives us more than we can handle. I would sit in Sunday school each week and listen to my Bible teacher talk about how Jesus wanted to help us carry our burdens. As a child, I didn't understand how brutal life could be, so these verses didn't really influence my thinking much. I'm grown up now, and they still puzzle me.
Who gets to decide how much I can handle? Is there a pain quota that each of us much reach before we surrender? Will life always be a cycle of one struggle after another?
When I try to make sense of all the suffering in the world, I am instantly overwhelmed. My faith seems lacking, and I question whether or not I know what it means to trust an invisible God. I know all the right answers, and when I look at life through logical lenses I can see some common patterns. But, it doesn't change the fact that sometimes things just plain suck.
Pain peirces the soul. Fear is paralyzing. Loneliness causes our hearts to ache.
I recently heard someone say,
"God permits what He could prevent, because at the end of the day He wants me to look more like Him, and less like me. He is more interested in my character than my comfort."
He aslo defined stress as,
"Registering our resistance to the circumstances God currently has us in."
This makes sense, but it doesn't make acceptance arrive any sooner. Maybe someday I will understand this mystery. Or maybe not? Either way, life will continue. And I will keep searching for answers."