How is it that we wrap so much of our worth up in what other people think of us? I readily admit that I am an approval addict. Other's opinions of me are a driving force in my life, and unfortunately, I continue to give certain individuals power over me. Notice I used the word "give". When I let other's thoughts about me control the way I feel about myself, I am responsible. I am learning that it is a choice.

I'm a mind reader. That is what I do. I assume that everyone is thinking about me. It's a terrible habit, and I hate it about myself. When I get real honest, I know that it's just a way to cope with my insecurities. Of course, I am sure my past has a lot to do with how I view myself and my perception of how others view me. I suppose this is true of everyone. Even now, I am stressing about how the "world" will receive this message. Why can't I just write down my thoughts, and not worry about what anyone else thinks? How freeing it would be to just "say what I mean, and to mean what I say. " I spend so much of my energy on impression management, and even though I recognize myself being obsessive, I can't seem to stop. Again, I GET ON MY OWN NERVES!

Perhaps someday I will finally realize there is no such thing as perfection. Maybe then I can get over myself.

Nill