For months now I have been struggling with the Sovereignty of God. I have questioned His goodness and doubted His power. I'm still attempting to sift through this stage of uncertainty, but today someone said something that brought me one step closer to acceptance.
The comment was simple, and I've been introduced to the concept numerous times before. It wasn't new or profound. She simply said, "Tenille, we live in a fallen world, and It is what it Is". This person reminded me that the sting of being human will not leave us until we reach eternity, and while we wait for the day of redemption, blaming God is pointless.
For so long, my idea of the abundant life has been one free of chaos and pain. I have bought into the lie that good Christians smile through the storms, and when God is pleased with all their effort, He rewards them with neat lives. My perceptions have been distorted, and if I continue to believe in an arrival spot free from sorrow, I am setting myself up for disappointment and failure. This way of thinking constantly leaves me feeling less than and unworthy.
So my goal is to quit looking for the perfect world, and deal with what's in front of me. Life is messy. My family is nuts. And as long as we are on this side of eternity, it will probably be this way. Maybe I'm being pessimistic, but waiting on perfection is just to exhausting.