It seems as though from the beginning of time humans have had a simple, yet brutal, way of dealing with wrong: rocks . Someone would point out the offender, and the whole community would stand ready to hurl stones in the direction of the accused. This archaic approach to dealing with indiscretion is alive in well today. Of course we don’t actually pick up jagged rocks and stone people, but the weight of another’s judgment has the same cruel effect. I know this, because rec...
My recovery will never be stronger than the disease of Alcoholism. I recently found myself in an unwelcome, yet familiar place of powerlessness and confusion due to dysfunctional relationships with my family of origin. Once again, “sick thinking” has wreaked havoc on my emotions, and I am in desperate need of an Al-anon meeting. You see, my family of origin has a long history with domestic violence. My grandfather abused my grandmother. M...
I have been a huge fan of the author Nicholas Sparks for as long as I can remember, so when my husband mentioned the possibility of catching this North Carolina writer’s latest chick flick on the big screen I was thrilled. We decided to grab a bite to eat at Logan’s Steak House before the show started at 7:30, and our conversation took us down memory lane. Both of us dialogued about how former relationships had shaped us, and we agreed that freedom to be ourselves was the key to a...
The following definition of Christianese can be found on Wikipedia. “The related term Christianese (or Bible-speak ) refers to the contained terms and jargon used within many of the branches and denominations of Christianity as a functional system of religious terminology. It is characterized by the use in everyday conversation of certain words, theological terms, and catchphrases, in ways that may be only comprehensible within the context of Christian belief.&rdquo...
Post vacation hangovers have a way of stripping joy from your life. My husband and I recently returned from a week long family trip to Walt Disney World, and reality seemed to slap me in the face the moment I walked in the door. I wanted to savor those sweet moments of serenity, but exhaustion coupled with anxiety, got the best of me. Change has never been my friend. I am a creature of habit, and I crave security like an addict waiting on his next fix. In the last year my wo...
My husband and I recently took a family vacation to Disney World. We spent an inordinate amount of time waiting for busses and standing in long lines. My two wonderful bonus children found this to be maddening, but I decided to use this time to observe a wide variety of human interactions. Now I realize that generalizations tell absolutely nothing about individuals, but from what I witnessed, there are a lot of unhappy women in the world. It seemed ...
My husband and I are celebrating our very first wedding anniversary today. This time last year we were boarding a plane headed for the great state of California. Chris and I said our vows on Santa Monica beach, and the only witness was the local minister we had found on the Internet. The wedding was picture perfect, and I have no regrets. The intimate moments we shared created memories that will last a lifetime. The last twelve months have been nothing less than blissful. Wi...
Why do I hate going to church so much? I woke up today wishing Keller weren’t so far away. In the beginning, I didn’t mind driving forty miles to hear Brandon speak because he was dynamic and his sermons provoked questions and deep thinking. Lately, his messages seem disconnected and haphazard. I don’t look forward to Sundays anymore, and they used to be my favorite day of the week. If I am honest with myself, I know the issue is not the church. The problem is m...
“Tenille, you are so smart! You can be anything you want to be when you grow up!” These were the words of affirmation spoken over me as a child. My grandmother would lift me off the ground, and gently sit me on the edge of bathroom vanity. I would twist and squirm until my feet safely rested inside sink and my body faced the streaked mirror. Nora would proceed to pull my hair back into taut pig tails, and I would wince with pain as she tightened the rubber bands, ...
A couple of crazy things are rumbling around in my head at the moment. I figured I would share this convergence of random thoughts with the world. As I write this blog, my husband is having a surgical procedure that could potentially alter our future. He wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything all morning, and he had a low grade headache due to a lack of caffeine. Despite these setbacks, his spirits were high, and I enjoyed bantering with him as we waited on the doctor. I pr...
After sitting through a Sunday morning sermon on broken relationships and bitterness, I stumbled across a sealed envelope mixed in with a pile of Bible puke accumulated from the numerous churches I attended in the last year. Piles of old sermon notes and church bulletins littered my lap, as I carefully tugged on the fastened lip of the envelope, curious about this mysterious piece of memorabilia dated January 7, 2007. As the adhesive loosened, the contents of the envelope revealed a hand...
"This time last year, would you have ever imagined you’d be waking up with a man in your bed?” Chris inquired as we greeted the day on Christmas morning. The silky Egyptian cotton sheets kept our bodies warm as we snuggled under the covers, and a feeling of gratitude welled up deep inside my heart. After twenty seven years of “going home” for Christmas, I now have a family of my own to share the holiday season with. Chris exceeds my wildest expectations, and as we exchanged gifts at the...
As I sit here on my couch this morning, I feel extremely reflective. Snuggled under a cozy blanket with Chris' laptop resting on my legs, I'm browsing through some of my old blogs. I’m thankful for written expression. Recording my thoughts and feelings is like pressing a pause button on life. As I read through the events of the last few years, I am amazed how quickly time has passed. The memories seem so fresh . . . Yesterday, a precious friend and I discussed the beauty of the present, al...
Do you ever have split second moments when everything seems to be spinning completely out of control? I got to school this morning feeling a bit edgy due to the fact that my student’s grades were due, the new teacher I’m mentoring needed to meet with me, and a parent came to complain that her child was being bullied. Fridays are usually hectic, but today seemed abnormally nutty. Right before it was time to switch classes, my phone buzzed, and my husband informed me that the Rooms-To-Go guy co...
My family and I just finished playing Sequence. After sharing a prayer and a meal together, we pulled up a piece of carpet, and giggled our way through a board game. Chandler, my ten year old step-daughter, seemed to have all the luck, and smiles beamed from the winners' faces after every round. A deep sense of contentment permeated the room. Now to some people, the above scenario may not seem that unusual, but to a child who grew up in the chaotic world of alcoholism this is a dream come...