Post vacation hangovers have a way of stripping joy from your life. My husband and I recently returned from a week long family trip to Walt Disney World, and reality seemed to slap me in the face the moment I walked in the door. I wanted to savor those sweet moments of serenity, but exhaustion coupled with anxiety, got the best of me. Change has never been my friend. I am a creature of habit, and I crave security like an addict waiting on his next fix. In the last year my wo...
A couple of crazy things are rumbling around in my head at the moment. I figured I would share this convergence of random thoughts with the world. As I write this blog, my husband is having a surgical procedure that could potentially alter our future. He wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything all morning, and he had a low grade headache due to a lack of caffeine. Despite these setbacks, his spirits were high, and I enjoyed bantering with him as we waited on the doctor. I pr...
After sitting through a Sunday morning sermon on broken relationships and bitterness, I stumbled across a sealed envelope mixed in with a pile of Bible puke accumulated from the numerous churches I attended in the last year. Piles of old sermon notes and church bulletins littered my lap, as I carefully tugged on the fastened lip of the envelope, curious about this mysterious piece of memorabilia dated January 7, 2007. As the adhesive loosened, the contents of the envelope revealed a hand...
"This time last year, would you have ever imagined you’d be waking up with a man in your bed?” Chris inquired as we greeted the day on Christmas morning. The silky Egyptian cotton sheets kept our bodies warm as we snuggled under the covers, and a feeling of gratitude welled up deep inside my heart. After twenty seven years of “going home” for Christmas, I now have a family of my own to share the holiday season with. Chris exceeds my wildest expectations, and as we exchanged gifts at the...
As I sit here on my couch this morning, I feel extremely reflective. Snuggled under a cozy blanket with Chris' laptop resting on my legs, I'm browsing through some of my old blogs. I’m thankful for written expression. Recording my thoughts and feelings is like pressing a pause button on life. As I read through the events of the last few years, I am amazed how quickly time has passed. The memories seem so fresh . . . Yesterday, a precious friend and I discussed the beauty of the present, al...
Do you ever have split second moments when everything seems to be spinning completely out of control? I got to school this morning feeling a bit edgy due to the fact that my student’s grades were due, the new teacher I’m mentoring needed to meet with me, and a parent came to complain that her child was being bullied. Fridays are usually hectic, but today seemed abnormally nutty. Right before it was time to switch classes, my phone buzzed, and my husband informed me that the Rooms-To-Go guy co...
My family and I just finished playing Sequence. After sharing a prayer and a meal together, we pulled up a piece of carpet, and giggled our way through a board game. Chandler, my ten year old step-daughter, seemed to have all the luck, and smiles beamed from the winners' faces after every round. A deep sense of contentment permeated the room. Now to some people, the above scenario may not seem that unusual, but to a child who grew up in the chaotic world of alcoholism this is a dream come...
A deep well of sorrow lives buried within my soul. Woven into the tapestry of my being is the belief that I am a burden. The message taunts me constantly, and in moments of weakness, I give in and accept the lie. I crank up the volume on the tapes that tell me my existence causes other people’s pain. Recently, a master manipulator convinced me that I was the author of her suffering. She explained that my presence caused her intense discomfort, and proceeded to rationalize her unacceptable...
My husband and I had a fantastic date night yesterday. We've been staying in Houston for an educational business conference, and when Chris arrived home we took a quick dip in the hotel swimming pool. The hot afternoon sun was a welcomed guest after days and days of cloudy skies. It's been raining like crazy all across Texas, and we were hoping to escape Mother Nature by heading further south. After our outdoor excursion, we took a quick shower and got gussied up for a fancy dinner at the...
My Aunt Nila stopped by my house yesterday afternoon. She and her husband, Donald, were in the Metroplex visiting their children, and she called to see if the rumors she'd been hearing about my elopement were true. I told her all about my destination wedding to California and caught her up to speed on all the recent happenings in my life. Out of thirteen children, she and her sister Rita are the only siblings who makes a concerted effort to maintain a relationship with me. Over ...
I've been hitched for a little over a week now, and everyone I run into has the same question . . . "So, how does it feel to be married, Tenille?" I find this inquiry to be a bit annoying. No one ever felt the need to ask me, "So, Tenille. Tell me. How does it feel to be single?" I mean, don't get me wrong. I love being married. Chris is fantastic, and we're definitely enjoying what others call the "honeymoon period". It's wonderful to wake up each day next to the man I've cho...
Have you ever read a book where the chapters are completely unrelated? You know the kind where you can randomly skip through the pages, paying little attention to what came before or after a particular event. The story unfolds just as it should, and each section of the novel holds unique treasures of its own. The chapters stand out independent of one another, yet somehow the story is woven together, forming a perfect tale that captures the reader’s interest. Other books are designed to be...
The only man I have ever given my heart to asked me to marry him last night in a bookstore . After four months of dating, I accepted his proposal, and I have never been more sure of anything in all my life. Chris is God's gift of extravagant love to me, and our journeys have led us to one another. He is everything I ever wanted and so much more. I am deeply grateful for the joy he has brought to my life, and I look forward to spending the rest of our days together. He is the man I choose ...
Have you ever bought a new watch? When you first slip it on your wrist, you are keenly aware of its presence. The band rubs against your skin, and you find yourself glancing down, inspecting the clock more frequently than usual. Your thoughts habitually turn toward this new accessory and you might even show it off to your friends. After a couple of days, the novelty starts to wear off, and although you are still aware of the new watch, it doesn’t consume your thoughts. Weeks pass, and bef...
I never knew belief in possibility could make life seem so much brighter. An unexpected smile sweeps across my face, and I find myself lost in thought more than I would care to admit. The fog is lifting, and for the first time in a long time, I'm trusting that nothing in God's world happens by mistake. I wonder how long these happy feelings will last? I will not allow fear to rob me of the momentary joy . . .