what i've learned along the way
lobsterhunter's Articles In Misc » Page 5
May 7, 2006 by lobsterhunter
Note to the reader: This blog is probably going to be a hodge-podge of unorganized ponderings. I haven't written in a while, and most of my thoughts are disconnected and scattered. Read at your own risk. It's 2 a.m, and I sit here waiting on a friend's sixteen-year-old daughter to return home from prom. The weekend has been rather uneventful, and I've found myself reflecting on days gone by. It doesn't seem like that long ago I was obsessing over my own hair and make up, preparing for ...
February 9, 2006 by lobsterhunter
The Crowley Chamber of Commerce held their annual Teacher of the Year banquet. My team and I joined Yodit Whipple, the Sycamore Elementary TOY, for a funfilled evening of laughter and rich conversation. After the Crowley Honor Choir performed, the Chamber President droned on for what felt like hours, and the teachers received their useless brass plaques. Finally the night drew to a close. While gathering my things to beeline towards the nearest exit, my name was called over the loud speakers...
September 19, 2005 by lobsterhunter
Preface : I’m not depressed. Life isn’t awful. I just needed to release these thoughts. No need to worry! What does it mean to be content? This question plagues me, because as I walk through this journey we call life, contentment seems to be just outside my reach. I keep hoping someone or something is going to suddenly make life wonderful, but deep in my soul I know this way of thinking will only leave me disappointed and unsatisfied. This is not how I imagined my life would look...
August 30, 2005 by lobsterhunter
Because my toxic thoughts leaked out into the unrestricted world of blogging, I figured I should attempt a public apology. I've screwed up so many things at this point, I'm not sure I can dig myself out of the hole. I deeply regret so many of the decisions I've made, especially my previous blog. I used this site to justify my behavior, rather than take responsibility for it. This was unacceptable, and I am sincerely remorseful about this choice. Truth be told, everyone involved in this s...
July 8, 2005 by lobsterhunter
I come from a long line of history nerds. I can remember my grandma reading my social studies textbooks from cover to cover evey year when I would bring them home to do homework. We often engaged in political conversations in which we would solve the problems of the world with simple minded ideals. She taught me the value of examining the past, and I am grateful for the sense of patriotism I saw reflected in her life. I inherited her love of history, and during this last week we had quite...
June 8, 2005 by lobsterhunter
Every so often the winds of insecurity sweep into my thoughts leaving a destructive path of negative self talk. I start second guessing all of my actions, and my character defects seem glaring and unbearable. I begin to tell myself things like, "Why do you say such stupid stuff?", and "Nobody really likes hanging out with you. You're too high maintenence." Fighting these demons requires constant vigalence, and the fear of rejection can be paralyzing. I sometimes wonder if I annoy those ...
May 30, 2005 by lobsterhunter
"So, what are you going to do with yourself all summer?" I have come to dread this question. Everyone seems to be asking it, and to be real honest, I don't have an answer. I am a school teacher, and although most folks would relish having two months off in the summer, I increasingly fear this season of uncertainty. You see, busyness is a much needed distraction in my life. I don't particularly enjoy being still for extended periods of time, and the thought of having unlimited blan...
February 14, 2005 by lobsterhunter
I wore a red sweater to work today. I figured I might as well embrace the Love holiday. My kids at school were precious, and I found myself being silly with them all day. Joking around with your students can make the dullest day bright. Especially when you spend most of your time being dictator and babysitter. About mid afternoon an old friend e-mailed me with a very sentimental Valentine message. I couldn't wipe the grin off my face. A very insignificant comment made my day, and I ...
February 6, 2005 by lobsterhunter
It happens every year. Change comes knocking at my door, and I get all knotted up on the inside. I fret over things I cannot control, causing all other areas of my life to suffer. Everything seems to get turned upside down, and I start feeling funky. Remaining spiritually connected becomes a huge chore, and I begin to question whether or not I have progressed at all. God seems distant and I become terribly self-centered (not a quality I'm particularly proud of ). When I look through th...
April 12, 2004 by lobsterhunter
Why is it that we can always see God's miracles in the lives of others, but recognizing His faithfulness in our own lives proves difficult? Tonight I heard the testimony of so many people who have experienced God's guidance during trying situations. There stories encouraged me,and reminded me I have a Savior who longs to control my chaotic life. Finding peace in the midst of a storm seems abstract and unattainable, although I have readily seen this quality fleshed out in the lives of othe...
April 7, 2004 by lobsterhunter
A few weeks have passed since I last blogged. During this time, God has been agressively attempting to teach me His Truth. I feel overwhelmed by His goodness, yet I remain uncertain of His plan. I know He shows me unmerited favor, but it doesn't always look the way I expect it to. Accepting the will of Christ above my own desires will be the challenge of my life. Confrontation has forced me to deal with reality. My ongoing struggle with honesty keeps me constantly on gaurd. I mus...
March 21, 2004 by lobsterhunter
My lip is swollen the size of Texas. I woke up today, feeling the familiar pain of heat rising below the surface of my skin. This is not an unusual occurence. I get fever blisters at least once a month. I've done some research on this medical anomaly, and basically it's a whacked out form of herpes. They call it Simplex B, and it can be activated by the slightest change in your bodies' chemical balance. Apparently, my system stays in a state of confusion 24-7. The reason I'm puzzled by th...
March 16, 2004 by lobsterhunter
Nora came to visit me this week. She's my grandmother and my gaurdian. When I was two years old, she and my alcoholic grandfather got legal custody of my siblings and I. My biological parents were unfit, and the state had reason to believe we were better off with a relative. I tend to agree. My grandma is an amazing woman, and as I have spent time with her over the last few days, I realize more than ever how blessed I am to have her. She was a phenomenal substitute parent, and continues ...
March 10, 2004 by lobsterhunter
I wrote in my journal. I took a walk. I talked to God. The thoughts still resound in my head, wreaking havoc on my emotions. What do I do with these feelings? Where do I put them? A friend of mine would tell me to place the pain in my God box. I wish it were that simple. Part of me wants to talk it out. I want to tell someone. I want someone else to help carry my insanity. Only God can stand the weight of my need, and He seems distant. My friend had a break through with God. His Holy ...
February 24, 2004 by lobsterhunter
My students agonized over a state writing test today. The day drug on for hours, and by the time the bell finally rang, we were all wiped out mentally and emotionally. As my students filed out of the classroom, I found myself longing for a peaceful place to hide away. I walked back into my silent, still abode and was overcome with how serene the room seemed. I sat in a student desk in the middle of the room and let my mind relax. All of my colleages had gone home for the day, and for the fi...